friday-ish

Well, it's a half day for me today and a long weekend as I am not working on Monday. Happy Smile currently sits on face. Going to have a quiet lunch, maybe go to the cinema to watch a film this afternoon (Death Race is the current favourite). Maybe having a beer later with a couple of friends to go over some stuff.
Anyhoo - Things going on.
Weekend of domesticity and depression.
monday of lying in bed and sleep.
mmmm sleep.

the day after

Last night -
Gin & Tonic x 5
Bitter x 2
Creme Egg shots x 2

this morning - I feel dead

my head hurts

last night I drank a colossal amount of Ouzo with some old friends who I hadn't seen for a while.
this morning my head hurts, my bowels ache and I think my left eyeball is itchy.
not good.

monday updates

Had a thoroughly unimpressive weekend. Now back to work which doesn't inspire confidence either.
1 - last week our Acting Director threatened everybody in the division with the sack if we didn't go along with her idea of doing other people's jobs(without getting any kind of renumeration for it). Not a fun meeting to be in.
2 - Had training for said work this morning - what fun.
3 - No real reason to be here anymore - work is annoying at the minute.

maybe I should become a consultant - that way I can sit at a desk and do sod all for most of the day for a lot of money.

Got this from Mosh - no real surprise on the answers

Got this from reading Mosh this morning.

1. Do you like blue cheese? … Not really.

2. Have you ever smoked? … Yep, not anymore though.

3. Do you own a gun? Nope.

4. What flavour Cordial was your favourite? Vimto

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointment? No.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? Quite nice, but it would be nice if they were actually made of sausage meat, rather than dog’s ass.

7. Favourite Christmas movie? White Christmas

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee

9. Can you do push ups? yep

10. What’s your favourite piece of jewellery? Do watches count?

11. Favourite hobby? Reading and Cricket

12. Do you have A.D.D.? Nope.

13. What’s one trait you hate about yourself? I dunno - are there any I should know about?

14. Middle name? yes

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? Why do I have to go to train to do somebody else’s job that I am not going to get paid for? Why do our finance management section never seem to have any staff who actually do any work?

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? water, concentrated juice, coffee

17. Current worry? Money, work and personal life

18. Current hate right now? The banks who have managed to get rich off trading the peoples debts, then going broke and getting the governments to actually pay tax-payers money to get them out of a hole that they got themselves into – If anybody actually doubted that the gov. were here to protect the investments of the corporations over the wellbeing of the people then they should have anymore doubts.

19. Favourite place to be? On a beach

20. What did you do for the New Year? Had a quiet night in.

21. Where would you like to go? Japan, China, Argentina.

22. Name three people who will complete this? no-one, nobody and zero persons

23. Do you own slippers? No – I am not that old

24. What colour shirt are you wearing right now? White shirt with Red, Pink and Blue stripes

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? They’re okay

26. Can you whistle? Yes

27. Favourite colour? blue

28. Would you be a pirate? Yep.

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Don’t sing in the shower

30. Favourite boy’s name? Thaddeus

31. What’s in your pocket right now? not much money

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Winning the league with my cricket team

34. Best bed sheets as a kid? Candy striped white

35. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Dislocated Knee-Cap, Displaced Vertebrae.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 1

38. Who is your loudest friend? Matt

39. How many dogs do you have? None – hate the fuckers

40. What car do you drive? None

41. What is your favourite book? Far too many to choose from

42. What is your favourite candy? Fruit Salad.

43. What is your favourite Sports Team? Newcastle United. Sadly.

44. What song do you want played at your funeral? Dream on Dreamer by the Brand New Heavies.

Reality

So, Newcastle United are up for sale by the man who did stabilise the debt problem a year or so ago.
Problem 1 - I don't have the requisite £300m to buy the club
Problem 2 - I wouldn't want to go to games even if I owned the club
Problem 3 - A lot of the players and staff involved in the club seem to not care about United.

so, living in fantasy land (as I often do) - here is the solution to the problems of Newcastle United (if I had £40bn to spare)
Step 1 - Buy the club and pay off all debts (including all future transfer costs).
Step 2 - Kneecap Dennis "little cockerney barrowboy psycho" Wise.
Step 3 - Hire Didier Deschamps as the manager (the Keegan era is gone)
Step 4 - Give said manager £100mill a season to buy players/pay wages for new players until we win something.

Or If I was feeling really evil.
Buy the debt of Manchester United then issue a winding up order for Old Trafford.
heh

Allcock batting.

He was given lbw for this.

Not the end of the world.

Right.
Thanks to the mutterings of religious nutjobs all over the world everybody was expecting the world to end when CERN powered up the massive Atom Smasher yesterday. It didn't happen. We're still here. Hopefully the thing will start to produce results (although that's going to take years).
Thanks to yesterdays hysteria, a couple of us in the office had an extended conversation about what you would do if it was the last day on Earth.
Predictably it went sleep, eat, sex.
We then had a conversation about which women/men you would "do".
Jesse Metcalfe was the choice for some of the women in the office, whilst I went for Zoe McLennan.
nice.

BTW - We do actually work from time to time.

Police get owned

Now I've got the hang of embedding video - check this out.


moral of the story - you police? - don't let the public see you beating the hell out of somebody - Take a tip from the US or UK police - torture them out of sight

Soup Kitchen Retards

Thanks to the person who coined the above phrase on a Newcastle United Web Forum.

Do the rest of the fans a favour guys - stop mugging for the Sky "We love tongueing Fergies' Arse" Sports whenever something bad/stupid happens at St. James' park.
Cheers

sky fuggin sports

Bastards

whoo-hoo

Well, we lost the match on saturday but the team in second place who could have overhauled us for the title lost to one of the worst teams in the league.
So for the second season in a row under my captaincy - WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!
on a briefer note, our ladies XI got to the National Cup semis with a win on Sunday - their reward is a tie in Reading this Sunday at midday.

Football.

More specifically the Saga of Newcastle United and Kevin Keegan.

The news today is that he’s gone(not confirmed yet tho). Well I hope the scum in the press are happy to have hounded a man out of a job.

Here’s a list of the scum responsible.

L.ouise “WKL”"I lust after the dog-wanker Keane" T.aylor – Guardian – Just do the world a favour and die you mackem bitch – We all know you love Keano – who knows, maybe he’ll let you wank his dog.

B.arry G.lendenning – Guardian – just do us all a favour and either support a team from your own country/locale or just stop having a go at Newcastle. Irish Mackem Scum.

M.artin S.amuel – The Times – Fat, Bearded arsehole and all-round iffy looking bloke. If he moves into your local area make sure your kids’ school has high fences, or security to stop him getting in..

H.enry Fucking W.inter – Scum of the highest order.

All the Match of the Day commentators who stick the boot in – just bugger off. No talent wastes of space.

Skysports – Fucking Man Utd supporting scum. You could try being impartial, but that’s beyond you. Also, can you persuade that thick twat A.ndy Gr.ay to kill himself?

Yes, the man was labelled as a quitter. Yes, he was naïve. But, he made us feel good about being Newcastle fans again. WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT?

Keegan versus Fergie.

KK played for his country.

KK European Player of the Year 2 times

Fergie - Waste of space who could only score in the scots leagues

Fergie - Not even good enough to be considered Scotland's best player.

KK - A nice man with a lot of time for fans.

Fergie - A Dirty Scumbag