Official explanation

If you're my mum, dad or grandmother please turn off the internet now - this is not for your eyes.

a few weeks ago I had an accident. not majorly serious but bad enough that i needed stitches. through sheer embarassment i told my mates that i had taken a cricket ball in the thigh area, and the seam had broken the skin.

alas this isn't the truth. sorry guys.

three weeks ago I met a young lady (alright, a lady in the same epoch as me).
we hit it off in the pub, we went to her place.
during the act of intercourse, she got a bit rough and stabbed me in the thigh and groin area with what can only be described as a pointed metal stick. hence the feeling of total embarrassment and the lies. sorry guys - i'll try to be a bit more truthful about this.

D